Each of us is in a state of great anxiety from time to time. Neither meditative exercises nor yoga will help get rid of this. Entering the room and seeing silent colleagues, it seems to us that they gossiped about us. When we receive a new and difficult task, fear arises that it will not be possible to complete the job. Even a simple headache may seem to some as a harbinger of a brain tumor.
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In this state of obsessive anxiety and anxiety, people who often want to help are often next to us. Usually they say what they see as a calming phrase: “Don’t worry!” The intentions of the helpers are good, but they are trying to suppress unproductive behavior. And the phrase itself may be considered useless. People under stress feel that they are being dismissed, or that their problem is contrived. Just telling someone not to worry is ineffective. There are three good alternatives to this banal phrase.
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How can I help you?
Rather than trying to haphazardly comfort someone, it is better to try to really help someone in trouble. It may well be that your help will not resolve the situation. But such a proposal will show that you are not only aware of the existence of the problem, but also ready to turn your shoulder and help get out of trouble. This phrase means that you can be relied on. And even if help is not needed, a person is always pleased to know that someone supports him.
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I understand how you feel now
Remember the alarming situation that caused a sinking heart. It could be an email sent to the wrong person, or the loss of a valuable document, being late for an important meeting … Regardless of whether the circumstances were to blame or yourself, you felt lonely at such a moment.
When we are worried about something, we subconsciously consider ourselves the only one with whom such a difficult situation could happen. But this is not the case. Reassuring a friend that he was in the same situation and felt the same will add confidence and comfort. It is worth sharing your problems with loved ones and finding out how they coped in a similar situation. It is easy to see a solution to the problem using someone else’s example.
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This is really terrible
Regardless of the strength of our desires, we are not able to help everyone. But you can give a person the opportunity to talk, pour out his soul. If you cannot help either by deed or by advice, then all that remains is to admit the fact of the situation.
What is better than just saying, “Don’t worry”? We acknowledge the emotions of a person and let him know that they are justified, rather than dismiss him. Thus, we demonstrate our readiness, if necessary, to accept his feelings and experiences.
If your loved one is obsessed with an unpleasant situation that makes them nervous, it’s too easy to casually remark, “Don’t worry!” But this phrase will neither help nor comfort. Try one of the suggested alternatives and you can actually reduce the person’s anxiety.