The 30th anniversary is quite an important threshold in a person’s life. We are still energetic and ready for accomplishments, but we have already gained enough experience and wisdom not to act recklessly. Valuable advice begins to play a significant role in a person’s life. Blogger and businessman Mark Manson, shortly after his thirtieth birthday, turned to his subscribers with a request to share his life experience with him. He was interested in how best to live the next decade, from 30 to 40 years.
More than 600 people responded to this request, many of them sent detailed answers on several pages. Mark spent 3 days reading all the letters, he was struck by both the quality of the advice and the coincidence of some theses from completely different people. Apparently, certain thoughts are especially relevant for the period after reaching the age of 30. We will give the ten most common tips, a squeeze from those very 600 letters from different people who are ready to share their experience.
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Start saving for retirement and old age now, not later
For the first 20 years of life, people usually do not think about financial savings for old age. But at 30, it’s time to make a financial breakthrough. This question cannot be put off any longer. You will have to delve into the essence of such concepts as insurance, mortgage, pension program. It’s time to take this burden on your shoulders. This advice was present literally in every letter. Readers suggested doing quite specific actions:
1. Set yourself the task of paying off all your debts as soon as possible.
2. Create for yourself your personal savings fund, as we say – “stash”. It will help to survive crisis moments with health, courts, business, divorce.
3. Spend some of your income on fast loan repayments or save money in a savings account.
4. Stop making frivolous spending. You shouldn’t buy a house if you can’t get the best possible mortgage rates.
5. Don’t invest in something you don’t understand. Leave the game on the stock exchange and with cryptocurrencies for someone else.
One of the subscribers noted that the debt exceeding a tenth of the annual income is a serious signal. We must immediately stop unnecessary spending, start saving and repaying debts. Other readers lamented their inability to save at 30. A career may not work out, and by the age of 50-55 we are left with nothing at all. Others rely on their spouse’s income, but an abrupt divorce can leave you with nothing.
All these people are essentially talking about the same thing – start saving as early as possible and as much as possible. Don’t make excuses that it’s impossible. One of the readers wrote to Mark that in her 30s she found herself with two children in a low-paying job, but still managed to save money. Now this woman is 50 years old, but due to the successful investment of savings, she feels financial stability. The subscriber says: “Everything is possible. You just have to go and do it.”
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Start taking care of your health right now
People have noticed that our mind considers itself 10-15 years younger than its body. However, health will begin to deteriorate sooner than we want. We prefer not to notice the problems that are accumulating, because we do not want to admit them. Health issues are obvious and banal. All the advice on this topic has long been known: healthy eating, an active lifestyle, no stress, good sleep. Experienced people recognize that all problems with our body have the property of accumulation. We do not become seriously ill overnight – health has been deteriorating for a long time, which has led to a sad effect. And we didn’t notice it. Over the next 10 years, it is worth slowing down the destructive processes in our body. Faced with serious illnesses, people say the same thing about the same thing. If they had the opportunity to return to their youth, they would eat healthy food and exercise, and not find reasons not to.
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Don’t hang out with people who treat you badly
If financial and physical health are put in order, then it is time to take care of mental health. Those who have lived for four decades give interesting advice. They recommend introducing restrictions in your personal life and giving preference to communicating with good people. Why put up with someone who treats you badly? You should not do this for financial gain or children – a personal emotional background is more expensive. We must learn to refuse and move away from useless people, actions and circumstances.
People often fall into the trap of fearing to offend others or trying to change them, to please them, to make them feel better about themselves. Usually it just doesn’t work. Selfishness has nothing to do with self-interest. Sometimes you have to be cruel to end up being kind. At the age of 20, the world seems open to us, but the lack of experience makes us cling to all the interesting people we meet, even if they do not deserve our attention. By the age of 30, you already understand that good relationships must be sought and built. In the world there will always be people close to us and interesting people who can become friends. So what is the point of wasting time on those who are not capable of providing any support in life?
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Be considerate of those who care about you
Tragedy can happen in the life of each of us. We need those who can understand, accept and help. And we ourselves can be the same for our friends. Usually between 30 and 40 years old, conflicts begin to flare up between loved ones and problems appear that were previously even unthinkable. This may be the death of parents and loved ones, divorce, betrayal, loss of friends. And the support of loved ones is very important at such a moment. Someone just needs someone to be with him, to listen.
Be respectful of your friends who will be able to support you at the right time. The established strict boundaries of our soul will eventually have to be removed. We sometimes consider the attitude towards us for granted, but only with the loss of a person we realize all its importance for us. It’s just not worth bringing it up to. You can always return money and work, but people and time are not a fact.
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Do what works best
At 20, people are full of plans for the future. It seems to them that all roads are open and there is time to become what you want. Illusions are an integral part of this age. Over the next 10 years, a person acquires a certain position, experience and knowledge. Having them and a job you love, it makes no sense to give it all up for something else. Focus plays a huge role in our life. We can achieve more if we do what we do best.
People advise to focus on one or two important goals and work hard for them without distraction and exchange. It is worth accepting that it is impossible to achieve everything. We make a compromise – for the sake of something really valuable, we sacrifice the rest.
Most people arbitrarily choose a career direction at the turn of their 20s. This choice is often the wrong one. It will take years to understand your true calling and find a job that brings pleasure. This is what you should focus on and bring your skills to perfection year after year. You cannot follow other people’s ideas and succeed halfway in an occupation alien to you. For some people, this approach, even at the age of 30, will seem risky. After all, it can mean the rejection of a career in which 10 years of life have been invested, the loss of the usual income.
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Don’t be afraid of risk, a person can always change
The generally accepted point of view is that by the age of 30 a person should already decide on the type of his occupation, start a family, and have a certain financial situation. But it’s never too late to start over. Dozens of blog readers have asked not to let society influence you and prevent you from taking risks at your most productive time. At 40, people find themselves in a midlife crisis and realize that they did nothing to solve the problem.
30-year-olds should not build a life based on ideals that they do not believe in. Do not be afraid to destroy everything, because there will always be strength and build everything anew. Many of Manson’s readers have said that they decided to change their occupation after 30 years and were not disappointed with this. Such a decision later they called the best in life. At this age, fear is a poisonous force, a brake that affects career, marriage, self-esteem. People are afraid of failure, condemnation from acquaintances, consequences. But 40-year-olds are advised to try and take risks.
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Keep growing and developing
Man has two assets that cannot be recovered: our body and our mind. After 20 years, many stop working on themselves, learning and developing. At 30, we are already very busy and there is no time for self-improvement. Only those few who continue to learn, develop and care for the freshness of their minds will be able to overtake their peers.
If life gives such an opportunity – to change after 30 years, then it should not be neglected. Many say that the decision to start learning something after the age of 30 was very beneficial for them. Courses, seminars, trainings, new business will help keep the mind fresh. It is no coincidence that Warren Buffett said that for a young man the best investment is in his own education and mind. Money, power, relationships can disappear as quickly as they appeared. But our knowledge will remain with us forever. The main goal of any person is to constantly try to become a best friend, partner, colleague.
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Nobody really understands what he’s doing. You have to get used to it
40-year-old people, looking back at the last 20 years they lived, understand that no one understands what exactly they are doing. What seems important to us now, in 10-20 years will seem like complete nonsense. But this is the essence of the development of our society. Do not take yourself and your work seriously.
We may feel like we know and control everything. But this feeling of invulnerability is false – no one knows what might happen. Some people constantly worry and cling to trying to control everything. But real freedom will come after realizing that everything is constantly changing. Life is an exciting adventure worth enjoying. And in 40 years we will understand about it a little more than in 30.
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Investing in your family is a worthy occupation
People advise the banal – to spend time with your family. As we grow older, we lose relationships. They change, but how – depends on us. We must use the time allotted to us in order to have time to enjoy communication with relatives.
Mark Manson received a surprising number of letters about the family. For the next decade of our life, this topic becomes very important, because it concerns us from both sides. Our parents are aging, the form of relations with them is changing. They are still trying to see you as a child, even though you have grown up a long time ago. Yes, you have to build your own family. Most people understand that the time has come to overcome differences and find ways to interact with relatives. At this age, there is no point in blaming parents for their shortcomings.
At 30, the question arises of whether it is time to have a baby. It often seems that there is no time and money for children, you still have time to build a career, your usual life will collapse. But kids are great! They make us better, forcing us to overcome the boundaries of the possible. Children make people happy. If you have not known this joy before, 30 years is the time for this. Hardly anyone regrets this choice. A better and more correct time will never come. It’s hard to know what it is until you try it. If you are married and have a good environment for raising children, you should try as early as possible.
By the age of 40, people may be surprised to realize that they have spent the last 10-15 years on travel, clubs, entertainment and work. But there was never a person who would truly love them, created a family with them. It’s time to grow up and understand that starting a family is more important than being successful at work. Being single sounds tempting to married people, but this path in life is not worth choosing. 40-year-old women are advised not to look for a prince on a white horse and be grateful for the relationship with a good smart guy who really cares about you. Most of the respondents believe that the family is worth the effort invested in it, provided that there are healthy relationships in it.
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Many people are so trying to do something for the sake of others that they forget about themselves. Manson’s readers gave him advice: treat yourself better. No one else will take better care of you than yourself. Life is not an easy thing, you need to love yourself as quickly as possible, because then it will become more difficult. We must learn to be selfish in a good sense of the word, doing good for ourselves every day, month and year.
Many advised not to waste energy on trifles. Will this problem be important in 5-10 years? If not, then the case is worth a few minutes of our attention, after which we can move on. 40-year-olds are advised to simply accept life as it is and yourself in it. At this age, a person can finally relax.