The 30th anniversary is a fairly important threshold in a person’s life. We are still energetic and ready for achievements, but we have already gained enough experience and wisdom so as not to act recklessly. Valuable advice begins to play a significant role in a person’s life. Blogger and businessman Mark Manson, shortly after his thirtieth birthday, asked his subscribers to share life experiences with him. He was interested in how best to live the next decade, from 30 to 40 years.
More than 600 people responded to this request, many of them sent detailed answers on several pages. Mark spent 3 days reading all the letters, he was amazed by the quality of the advice, and the coincidence of some theses from completely different people. Apparently, certain thoughts are especially relevant for the period that follows after reaching 30 years. We will present the top ten most common tips, a squeeze of those same 600 letters from different people who are ready to share their experience.
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Start saving for retirement and old age now, not later
For the first 20 years of life, people usually do not think about financial savings for old age. But at the age of 30, it’s time to make a financial breakthrough. This question cannot be postponed further. We’ll have to grasp the essence of such concepts as insurance, mortgage, pension program. It’s time to take this burden on your shoulders. This advice was present in literally every letter. Readers suggested taking quite certain actions:
1. Set yourself a task to pay off all your debts as soon as possible.
2. Create your own personal savings fund, as we say – “stash”. He will help to survive crisis moments with health, courts, business, divorce.
3. Spend some of your income on fast loan repayments or save money in a savings account.
4. Stop making frivolous spending. You should not buy a house if there is no way to get the most profitable mortgage in terms of interest.
5. Do not invest in what you do not understand. Leave the game on the stock exchange and with cryptocurrencies for someone else.
One subscriber noted that debt exceeding a tenth of the annual income is a serious signal. We must immediately stop unnecessary spending, start saving and paying off debts. Other readers regretfully reported their inability to save at 30. A career may not work out, and by the age of 50-55 we are left with nothing at all. Others rely on the income of their spouses, but a sudden divorce can leave a trough.
All these people are essentially talking about the same thing – to start saving as early as possible and as much as possible. Do not justify yourself by saying that this is impossible. One of the readers wrote to Mark that at the age of 30 she ended up with two children in a low-paid job, but still managed to save money. Now this woman is 50 years old, but due to successful investments of savings, she feels financial stability. The subscriber says: “Everything is possible. You just have to take it and do it. “
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Start taking care of your health now
People have noticed that our mind considers itself 10-15 years younger than its body. However, health will begin to deteriorate sooner than we want. We prefer not to notice the accumulating problems, because we do not want to admit them. Health issues are obvious and commonplace. All the advice on this topic has long been known: a healthy diet, an active lifestyle, no stress, good sleep. Experienced people admit that all problems with our body tend to accumulate. We do not get seriously ill overnight – health was destroyed for a long time, which led to a sad effect. And we did not notice this. Over the next 10 years, it is worth slowing down the destructive processes in our body. People who face serious illness say the same thing. If they had the opportunity to return to their youth, they would eat healthy foods and exercise, rather than find reasons not to.
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Don’t hang out with people who treat you badly.
If your financial and physical health is in order, then it is time to take care of your mental health. Those who have lived for four decades offer interesting advice. They recommend introducing restrictions in your personal life and giving preference to communication with good people. Why put up with those who treat you badly? You should not do this for financial gain or children – personal emotional background is more expensive. We must learn to refuse and avoid useless people, actions and circumstances.
People often fall into the trap, fearing of offending others or trying to change them, to please them, to make them treat themselves better. It usually just doesn’t work. Selfishness has nothing to do with self-interest. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind in the end. At 20, the world seems to us open, but a lack of experience makes us cling to all the interesting people we meet, even if they don’t deserve our attention. By the age of 30, you already understand that good relationships must be sought and built. In the world there will always be people who are close to us and interesting people who can become friends. So what is the point of wasting time on those who are unable to provide any support in life?
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Be considerate of those you care about
A tragedy can happen in the life of each of us. We will need those who can understand, accept and help. And we ourselves can be the same for our friends. Usually between the ages of 30 and 40, conflicts begin to flare up between loved ones and problems appear, previously even unthinkable. It can be the death of parents and loved ones, divorce, betrayal, loss of friends. And the support of loved ones is very important at such a moment. Someone just needs someone to stay with him, listen.
Treat your friends with respect, who can support you at the right time. The established strict boundaries of our soul will have to be removed over time. We sometimes take the attitude towards us for granted, but only with the loss of a person do we realize all its importance to us. It’s just not worth bringing to this. It is always possible to return money and work, but people and time are not a fact.
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Do what you do best.
At 20, people are full of plans for the future life. It seems to them that all roads are open and there is time to become what you want. Illusions are an integral part of this age. Over the next 10 years, a person acquires a certain position, experience and knowledge. Having them and a favorite job – there is no point in leaving it all for the sake of something else. Focus plays a huge role in our life. We can achieve more if we do what we do best.
People are advised to focus on one or two important goals and work hard for them without distraction or waste. It is worth accepting that it is impossible to achieve everything. We compromise – sacrifice the rest for something really valuable.
Most people arbitrarily choose their career path at the turn of the 20th anniversary. This choice is often wrong. It will take years to understand your true calling and find a job that is enjoyable. This is where you focus and refine your skills year after year. You cannot follow the ideas of other people and succeed half in an occupation that is alien to you. For some people, this approach, even at the age of 30, will seem risky. After all, it can mean the rejection of a career in which 10 years of life have been invested, the loss of the usual income.
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Don’t be afraid of risk, a person can always change
The generally accepted point of view is that by the age of 30, a person should have already decided on his occupation, start a family, and a certain financial situation. But it’s never too late to start over. Dozens of blog readers have asked not to let society influence you and prevent you from taking risks at your most productive times. At the age of 40, people find themselves in a midlife crisis and realize that they did nothing to solve the problem.
30-year-olds shouldn’t build their lives around ideals they don’t believe in. Do not be afraid to destroy everything, because there will always be strength and rebuild everything. Many of Manson’s readers said that they decided to change their occupation after 30 years and were not disappointed in this. They later called this decision the best in life. At this age, fear is a poisonous force, a brake that affects career, marriage, and self-esteem. People are afraid of failure, judgment from acquaintances, consequences. But 40-year-olds are advised to try and take risks.
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Keep growing and developing
A person has two assets, the loss of which cannot be returned: our body and our mind. After 20 years, many people stop working on themselves, learn and develop. At 30, we are already very busy and there is no time for self-improvement. Only those few who continue to learn, develop and care for the freshness of their minds will be able to overtake their peers.
If life gives such an opportunity – to change after 30 years, then it should not be neglected. Many people say that the decision to start learning after 30 years has become very beneficial for them. Courses, seminars, trainings, new business will help keep your mind fresh. It is no coincidence that Warren Buffett said that the best investment for a young man is in his own education and intelligence. Money, power, relationships can disappear as quickly as they appeared. But our knowledge will stay with us forever. The main goal of any person is to constantly try to become a best friend, partner, colleague.
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Nobody really understands what he is doing. You have to get used to it
Looking back at the last 20 years they have lived, 40-year-olds understand that no one understands what they are doing. What seems important to us now, in 10-20 years will seem to be complete nonsense. But this is the essence of the development of our society. You should not take yourself and your business seriously.
We may feel that we know and control everything. But this feeling of invulnerability is false – no one knows what might happen. Some people are constantly anxious and clinging to trying to control everything. But real freedom will appear after realizing that everything is constantly changing. Life is an exciting adventure worth enjoying. And at 40 we will understand about her a little more than at 30.
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Investing in your family is a worthy pursuit
People are advising the commonplace – spending time with their family. As we grow up, we lose our old relationship. They change, but how – depends on us. We must use the time allotted to us in order to have time to enjoy communication with family.
Mark Manson received a surprisingly large number of letters about his family. For the next decade of our life, this topic becomes very important, because it concerns us on both sides. Our parents are getting old, the form of relations with them is changing. They are still trying to see you as a child even though you have grown up a long time ago. And you have to build your own family. Most people understand that the time has come to overcome differences and find ways to interact with relatives. At this age, there is no point in blaming your parents for your shortcomings.
At the age of 30, the question arises as to whether it is time to have a child. It often seems that there is no time and money for children, you still need to have time to build a career, your usual life will collapse. But children are great! They make us better, forcing us to overcome the boundaries of the possible. Children make people happy. If you have not experienced this joy before, 30 years is the time for it. Hardly anyone regrets this choice. A better and more correct time will never come. It’s hard to figure out what it is until you try it. If you are married and have a good parenting environment, try as early as possible.
By the age of 40, people may be surprised to realize that they have spent the last 10-15 years traveling, clubs, entertainment and work. But there was still no person who would truly love them, create a family with them. It’s time to grow up and realize that starting a family is more important than being successful at work. Being single sounds tempting for married people, but this path in life is not worth choosing. 40-year-old women advise you not to look for a prince on a white horse and be grateful for your relationship with a nice smart guy who really cares about you. Most of the respondents believe that the family is worth the effort invested in it, provided it has healthy relationships.
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Many are so trying to do something for the sake of others that they forget about themselves. Manson’s readers gave him advice: treat yourself better. No one else will take care of you more worthily than yourself. Life is not an easy thing, you need to love yourself as quickly as possible, because then it will become more difficult. We must learn to be selfish in a good sense of the word, doing good for ourselves every day, month and year.
Many advised not to waste energy on trifles. Will this problem be important in 5-10 years? If not, then the matter is worth a few minutes of our attention, after which we can move on. 40-year-olds are advised to simply accept life as it is and yourself in it. At this age, a person can finally relax.